This paper was prepared fro my Ed.D. seminar at SEBTS on Spiritual Disciplines and Discipleship.
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As the Church
approaches the topic of discipleship it is clear there are many current models,
and with those models, problems, within the realm of Christendom (Wilkins,
11-20). These various approaches to discipleship have created a difficult
landscape to navigate for even the well-educated and well-informed. Yet those
who have been either forcefully or accidentally pushed to the fringes of
Christendom this landscape of discipleship becomes nearly impossible to
navigate.
More
specifically within the Southern Baptist tradition of evangelical Christianity,
the discipleship of such fringe groups can become a major argumentative piece.
For while it is desired by all that all peoples should be discipled, in
practice, whether it be accidentally or intentional, these fringe groups are
simply left undiscipled. The fringe group that this paper sets out to deal with
is women.
Women
have sadly become a fringe group where discipleship is concerned. This may not
at first glance seem to be an issue what with various women’s ministries,
mother’s Bible study times and the like, but it is devastatingly true that
by-in-large women’s discipleship has been accidentally overlooked.
This
paper’s intent is to outline the issues as seen through the eyes of women.
Interviews have been conducted, books and dissertations read, and various
opinions developed to provide a fuller picture of the issues readily prevalent in
the arena of women’s discipleship.
As
a side: I, the writer, am a man. I do not personally know these struggles, nor
do I fully understand their implications in the lives of women. Nonetheless, as
a fellow heir with these women, it is necessary to call out what even I, a
semi-sheltered man, can plainly see.
Before
beginning, this paper needs an outline to follow more closely. First, this
paper will delve into the perceived issues within women’s discipleship; second,
look at the understood model of women’s discipleship in many churches; third
and lastly, the implications these types of understandings can, and I believe
have, had on the culture.
At
our heart, the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) attempts to be complimentarian
in our approach to the issues of gender as presented in the culture. What this
means is that we, the body of Christ, as men and women complement each other in
the roles that we inhabit within our gender. The SBC discusses its stance on
gender roles in article 18 of The Baptist Faith and Message and many entities
use the Danvers Statement of 1987 to further develop this topic. In order to
continue on properly, the Danvers Statement’s first through forth, sixth and
seventh points are here quoted as they deal primarily with the topic at hand.
We have been moved in our purpose by the
following contemporary developments which we observe with deep concern:
1. The
widespread uncertainty and confusion in our culture regarding the complementary
differences between masculinity and femininity;
2. the tragic
effects of this confusion in unraveling the fabric of marriage woven by God out
of the beautiful and diverse strands of manhood and womanhood;
3. the
increasing promotion given to feminist egalitarianism with accompanying
distortions or neglect of the glad harmony portrayed in Scripture between the
loving, humble leadership of redeemed husbands and the intelligent, willing
support of that leadership by redeemed wives;
4. the
widespread ambivalence regarding the values of motherhood, vocational
homemaking, and the many ministries historically performed by women;
6. the upsurge
of physical and emotional abuse in the family;
7. the emergence
of roles for men and women in church leadership that do not conform to Biblical
teaching but backfire in the crippling of Biblically faithful witness…
Answering
the ever shifting nature of culture, this statement seeks to maintain the
correct understanding of biblical manhood and womanhood by promoting a deep
understanding of what is outlined in Scripture. However, it seems, unknowingly
we have negated many women in our attempts at discipleship. These issues are
not caused by the above portions of the Danvers Statement; they are evidenced
by it.
There
is nothing within the Danvers Statement which is unbiblical, rather it is the
examples it portrays that reveal an issue. For while it does mention the
problems of feminism, it is what the Statement leaves out that gives evidence
of our accidental problem. There is no mention of the likewise problematic
chauvinism. These two things, chauvinism and feminism are both problems to the
ideal complementarian.
“For
the longest time I thought I was supposed to submit to all men because all I
heard was that wives were to submit to their husbands,” one woman revealed
in a group interview. These two statements combined, the quote and the
few statements from the Danvers Statement, begin to show that within
evangelical Christianity we have accidentally created a male-centered approach
to our ministry techniques and our understanding of doctrine.
Similarly, Carolyn
Curtis James in her book “When Life and Beliefs Collide” quotes a seminary
professor as saying, “You know, there have never been any great women
theologians” (James, 18). She spends the rest of her book explaining why this
is an untruth, why there are many great women theologians and what the
implications are for modern day women. Two women interviewed for this paper
said this book is where they first felt “finally understood” and free to study
God in depth for the first time (group interview, February 18, 2016).
The
main issue women are facing in the realm of discipleship is a systematized
approach by which women are understood in three main categories. The
categorization reflects the already understood problem many singles face in
their approach to discipleship, namely, they do not, or might not fit the
church’s prescribed outline.
The
outline proceeds as follows: first, an individual within the church is part of
the youth ministry, followed by the college ministry, if they are still single,
they join the young professional’s ministry, if they are married, the young
married ministry. This progression is an ideal, it covers all stages of life in
some capacity. But the majority of the churches in the SBC cannot sustain or
offer the ideal, as the average SBC church has 80 people in attendance (Jones,
40). Thus many are left without a category in their church.
While
singles are a primary area where there is a lack of discipleship ministry
opportunities, it is young single women who are, more than likely, accidentally
overlooked. They are typically overlooked because they do not fit the mold of
where they are expected to be in their given stage of life (unmarried college
graduate), so they are left looking.
The
categories discovered via interview reveal three main sections of how women are
expected to grow: single, married or mother. These stages are viewed as
building on one another. This is to mean, the single women is discipled to be a
good wife, the young married women is discipled to be a good mother, the mother
is continually disciplined on how to be a good wife and mother. Once motherhood
is attained most discipleship models level off, circling back around on topics
related to being a good wife or mother.
Debi
Pearl writes on her understanding of the wife’s role in her book “Created to Be
His Help Meet.” She aims at combatting the same principles the Danvers
Statement sets out to combat, that of women being spiritual authority saying,
“Your husband, dud that he may ‘appear’ to
be, is appointed by God to be your immediate Superior Officer in the chain of
command. Your position under him is where God put you for your own spiritual,
emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where you will find
real fulfillment as a woman” (Pearl, 117).
This,
however, is not an accidental problem. Pearl is clear about where a woman
flourishes, under the authority of a husband, and nowhere else. But the issue
here is that a large swath of women are left behind, these are the single women
who either remain single after the culturally acceptable age or have
theological aspirations that do not conform to the typical model.
In addition to
this, “Most women's ministry
leaders within churches are volunteers. Few church staff positions exist for
full-time or part-time women's ministry leaders. Mentoring is not an element of
the women's ministry leader's job description…” (Allen, 91). Therefore, the
breakdown for single women that is different than the issues single men face is
that the possibility of being discipled in any capacity is greatly diminished
as the positions are not inhabited by full-time staff members, but rather
volunteers.
For many single women the issues
faced within the church feel insurmountable and leave them either frustrated or
seeking discipleship elsewhere. Men face a different experience. It is possible
for a man to be brought under the discipleship care of the – or a – pastor, an
opportunity not wise, and thus unavailable for many single women.
Similarly, Dr. Denise O’Donoghue
found that when there is a lack of communication through the church body as a
whole, the establishment of intergenerational relationships necessary for
discipleship are greatly limited (O’Donoghue, 99-102). It is thus imperative
that the disruption of women’s discipleship be addressed from the pastoral
level in order to begin to find a remedy.
It is important to look at what can
be some of the issues created by the accidental problem. Firstly, returning to Carolyn
Curtis James’ professor’s quote from
above, “You know, there have never been any great women theologians.”
This statement, is an outworking of the overlooking of women’s discipleship,
and in direct correlation to the Danvers Statement’s accidental oversight of
including the dangers of chauvinism. To assume there have never been great
women theologians is to overlook many who have been not simply academic
theologians but practical theologians in the mundane of everyday life. As James
goes on to say, “… All Christian women are theologians…[and] it truly matters
whether [they are] good one[s]” (James, 19).
Continuing
on, Dr. Thom Rainer wrote about
six reasons women leave the church. Three of the reasons deal directly with
discipleship issues: 1) they are overworked, 2) they do no feel valued, 3) they
are relationally hurt (Rainer). If women’s ministries are only volunteer
positions then the cycle of lack of women’s discipleship will continue for the
ability for one to train up some who can train up others will, in all reality,
never occur. If women do not feel valued, or worse are not valued in truth,
there is nothing to keep them within a discipleship model, whatever that model
might be. And lastly, if women’s relational needs are not taken into
consideration they will remain hurt, which if left unchecked could turn into
bitterness and sin.
If a
woman is not discipled effectively within the church because of the three stage
current model or because any other problem, she will be forced to look
elsewhere. For example, if she simply does not fit into the sage categories and
has little theological aspiration the society or culture at large will become
her discipler. On the other hand, if she does have theological aspirations, she
will be left frustrated and/or possibly looking to unorthodox sects of Christianity.
If
the society or culture becomes the main influencing force on women who have not
been discipled within the church it cannot be surprising if they leave the
church. What is more, it cannot be an odd occurrence if they began to look like
the culture. As for the single women with theological aspirations, they are
left to flounder trying to change the ridged, though broken system.
It
is of vast importance that the church seeks to provide women with a proper
discipleship model where a woman can behold God. “We become what we behold... Therefore, the only way to prevent
a distortion of womanhood is by encouraging women to behold their God—to taste
and see that he is good—and to search out his Word to learn of reason
after reason after reason to give him praise. We ought to tremble at the
thought of encouraging women to do anything else” (Poblete). If women are not
given a picture of what is worth beholding in the church, there is no reason
they will not find it elsewhere.
Women are in need of the whole story
of Scripture. They are image bearers of God (Frame, 228), and as such it is of
the utmost importance that the accidental problem of overlooking women’s
discipleship be remedied. The cost of not doing so are being reaped now,
because nearly an entire generation of women have not discipled or been
discipled. Women need all of Scripture and not just sections,
“…Because focusing on narrow
passages can blind us to the work of God in the rest of Scripture. There is
potential to flatten our faith and stunt our growth. It can make us biblically
illiterate or eventually twist our understanding of God’s work in the gospel.
It does this by setting the passage in focus up and above the work of Christ in
the gospel. It puts us at risk of almost pitting Scripture against Scripture. (Simms)”
Therefore, while Titus 2, 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 are important in
understand a women’s role, they are not definitive in understanding a women’s
Christianity. “God gives to women the same spiritual gifts he gives to
men” (Greear). What is more, theology is not taught in many women’s ministries
because it is not seen as important in relation to the lists developed in the
above cited passages and if it is discussed it is discussed in relation to 1
Corinthians 14:34-35 that, “…Women should keep silent in churches.” However,
and once again, this leaves single women to be untaught and undiscipled.
It is clear, the Christian
church has an accidental problem. We have neglected the discipling of women in
general and single women in particular. It is clear that the women must be
taught solid theology, not just from men, but from other women because it is
vitality important for a woman’s relationship with God.
What is more is that those
who fit the stereotype of Christian woman (fitting all categorical stages and
cultural expectations) should not be looked on in a cookie-cutter fashion or
with disdain. Women, in all sectors of life and at every point of categorization
need to be discipled according to who they are and toward whom God is making
them to be. This requires differentiation on the part of the discipler. The
Church cannot think that just because a woman is part of the stereotype that
they conform to the rules of the stereotype.
Therefore, due to an
accidental problem we need to rethink how we approach women’s discipleship. Too
many single women are being left to be discipled by the culture, and too many
good singles, mothers and wives are being left to understand God in unorthodox
ways because they are not being taught good theology from their pastors or
their women’s ministries.
If as a community of
believers we do not seek to build up women who are capable of being good
theologians, we will continue to see the decline in the attendance of Southern
Baptist churches. Women are created in the image of God and should know God as
he knows them, intimately. Additionally, women are, in many Southern Baptist
homes, the primary teachers of Southern Baptist children, these women should be
fully trained up to bear the gospel of truth about their God of truth to their
children.
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